Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Returning to a thought from 2 years ago

I'm going to return to the thought I had 2 years ago : I want to be the object of someone's desire and to be connected to that person's strength and beauty and creativity. I want the ability to feel passion and desire and intimacy again. I want to take someone's breath away. I want them to be strong I want to be beautiful.

Instead I am walking around always tired and sometimes angry that we are not these things.

I am suspicious that we are wired to want these things.
I am suspicious that is not about an earthly relationship or physicality.

God, I want to be the object of Your desire. I want to be pursued. I want to be connected to Your strength, Your beauty, Your wisdom, Your creativity and sense of humor. I want to feel passion and desire. I want to take Your breath away. I want to be beautiful. I want You to be strong.

I need everything about you, God.
" Send forth Your light and Your truth -- let them guide me and le them bring me to Your holy mountain, to the place where You dwell. Then I will go to the altar of God, to God my joy and my delight. I will praise you with the harp, O God, my God." Psalm 43 something.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

spitballs

Interesting, I ran into Theo's science teacher today at the Homeschool co-op. I asked her how Theo was doing. She said " fine, after we got past the spit balls in my hair last week. " Steam began to pour out of my ears. It was all I could do NOT to yank him out of the class he was in at the moment and give him an earful. I waited until his class was done, and then got in his face.
Me : Tell me about the spitballs.
Theo : WHAT ? I didn't do anything !
Me : Tell me about the spitballs. You know ... last week in Science class.
Theo : Oh. Sorry, Mom.
Me : That is totally out of line, Theo. I want you to apologize to Miss Shelly.
Theo : I will, Mom.
Me : Theo, if I do not hear back from Miss Shelly the exact words that "Theo Barr was the most well behaved student in the class today", I will be accompanying you in the class next week and holding your hand during it. Do you understand ?
Theo : Yes, Mom.

Of all things. The number of times a person should have to be told to refrain from putting saliva laden paper in another person's hair needs to be ZERO. Not 2 or 3. Dear God, let him grow up to be a good man.