Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Returning to a thought from 2 years ago

I'm going to return to the thought I had 2 years ago : I want to be the object of someone's desire and to be connected to that person's strength and beauty and creativity. I want the ability to feel passion and desire and intimacy again. I want to take someone's breath away. I want them to be strong I want to be beautiful.

Instead I am walking around always tired and sometimes angry that we are not these things.

I am suspicious that we are wired to want these things.
I am suspicious that is not about an earthly relationship or physicality.

God, I want to be the object of Your desire. I want to be pursued. I want to be connected to Your strength, Your beauty, Your wisdom, Your creativity and sense of humor. I want to feel passion and desire. I want to take Your breath away. I want to be beautiful. I want You to be strong.

I need everything about you, God.
" Send forth Your light and Your truth -- let them guide me and le them bring me to Your holy mountain, to the place where You dwell. Then I will go to the altar of God, to God my joy and my delight. I will praise you with the harp, O God, my God." Psalm 43 something.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

spitballs

Interesting, I ran into Theo's science teacher today at the Homeschool co-op. I asked her how Theo was doing. She said " fine, after we got past the spit balls in my hair last week. " Steam began to pour out of my ears. It was all I could do NOT to yank him out of the class he was in at the moment and give him an earful. I waited until his class was done, and then got in his face.
Me : Tell me about the spitballs.
Theo : WHAT ? I didn't do anything !
Me : Tell me about the spitballs. You know ... last week in Science class.
Theo : Oh. Sorry, Mom.
Me : That is totally out of line, Theo. I want you to apologize to Miss Shelly.
Theo : I will, Mom.
Me : Theo, if I do not hear back from Miss Shelly the exact words that "Theo Barr was the most well behaved student in the class today", I will be accompanying you in the class next week and holding your hand during it. Do you understand ?
Theo : Yes, Mom.

Of all things. The number of times a person should have to be told to refrain from putting saliva laden paper in another person's hair needs to be ZERO. Not 2 or 3. Dear God, let him grow up to be a good man.

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Planning as a Life Strategy

Setting up for the week on Sunday night is a challenge for me. I would prefer to squeeze every bit of weekend rest that I can out of Sunday night, but the truth is if I don't give a bit of thought space on Sunday to the coming week, Monday morning runs me over.

Other people, The Born Organized, never even consider NOT thinking about Monday on Sunday. I guess I'd rather live in La La land for another hour or so in hopes of ... in hopes of ...what ? Another hour or so of weekend.

I guess I am one of those people for whom Time is a bit amorphous. I have trouble predicting how long tasks take. I have trouble not planning too much in one day.
I'm learning how to use Planning as My Life Strategy, but it doesn't come naturally.
Very awkward still.
GAck.

Planning as a Life Strategy

Setting up for the week on Sunday night is a challenge for me. I would prefer to squeeze every bit of weekend rest that I can out of Sunday night, but the truth is if I don't give a bit of thought space on Sunday to the coming week, Monday morning runs me over.

Other people, The Born Organized, never even consider NOT thinking about Monday on Sunday. I guess I'd rather live in La La land for another hour or so in hopes of ... in hopes of ...what ? Another hour or so of weekend.

I guess I am one of those people for whom Time is a bit amorphous. I have trouble predicting how long tasks take. I have trouble not planning too much in one day.
I'm learning how to use Planning as My Life Strategy, but it doesn't come naturally.
Very awkward still.
GAck.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Maple rolls in $&!* ... again.


My dear H is a well educated man. Very intelligent. Intuitive. A great listener. But this year he has taken to ignoring that still small voice that tells him to attach our brown furry dog, Maple, to her lead when he lets her outside.
When he does this, WITHOUT FAIL, Miss Maple makes a dash for the nearest pile of poo and rolls herself silly in it.
So, dear H has made a number of ( loud ) promises to never do THAT again, while carrying a very stinky dog down to the basement sink in a towel for yet another bath. ( Ears down, forlorn look on face ... Maple, not him ). And a week or so goes by and somehow it seems like a great idea to repeat the entire process. Sigh.
My dear H has attended 2 major universities and is a bright and perceptive person. I love him and he can give the dog all the baths he wants.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Socks Recall.




I'm not joking about this. Children's socks should be taken off the market. As soon as they are applied to feet in this home, they are discarded and flung somewhere, creating random piles of mismatched socks around the house.
Come on, people. Work with me.
Thank goodness Spring has Sprung today and we can just dismiss the whole sock thing altogether. I am collecting all of our socks and filing them under Autumn.
Speaking of Spring ... signs of life are creeping out of the ground here at the Butterhof. Daffodils peeking out. Boys playing in the mud and swinging on the rope swing. Box Elder bugs and Ladybugs in my southfacing bedroom window. Birds warming up their voices.
A good sit in the sun is in order. No socks.