Something happened at the playground last week. We spent a great hour of lunch and playing and when we left, my son told me that the boy he had been playing with ( 12 years old ) had asked him to do something very wrong for a child.
I won't post it here for all the world to see, but suffice to say my son thought about it and told the boy no and did not do it. This all happened right in front of where I was sitting, but just out of my line of sight. I was focused on the kids and I did not have my nose buried in a book or ear on the phone. How could this happen with me right there ?
My heart was pounding in my ears as I reported the scene to the man who was walking around supervising a small group of kids of which this child was one. I praised my son for saying no and for telling me about it. I reinforced that he had done the right thing. I stayed calm, but after everyone was safely in bed that night I fell apart. I wanted to camp out across the threshold of the front door for the night and to be sure everyone stayed safe all night. I shook and felt sick for the next day as well, waves of thankfulness and fear and anger sweeping over me.
A strange piece of the story is that during the time the kids were playing and this incident happened, while I was sitting there watching and enjoying an incredibly beautiful day, a thought came to my mind : "There is a presence of sexual violation here".
" Janet, you whacko," I thought. " What an inappropriate thought to have here at a playground," and I did my best to brush it aside. Now I think I realize that the Spirit was showing me something that I needed to know.
Mothers out there, listen to your gut. A distinct shift has happened in our world. Referring back to our childhood for how to parent is no longer reliable ... too many things are different.
I feel different inside now.
5 comments:
I keep thinking of OTR's lyric that this old world is too f-ed up for any firstborn sons...it is a much more scary place than it was when we were kids. But I know it helps me trust K into God's hands when I remember that there are so many involved in her life who I trust implicitly with her. That's huge to me.
It is things like this situation that put me at the end of my mercy plank. I want to jump into the waters self righteous anger. As you know that is my community park too and my neighbor was there that same day and had stuff thrown at her and her 3 year old son, the stroller ransacked and they were introduced to several different techniques of intimidation that a bored 17 year old kid uses to try and scare a mother and her 3 year old son. Eventually the small roving gang chased her off across the street to the Nativity school.
I didn't find this all out until yesterday when I was talking to her about the two houses on our normally quiet street that were broken into. One of the houses was my next door neighbor who is out of town and Joanna and I have been watering her plants, so I had to call the police and file the report. It took them 4 hours to get there because as the officer and the 911 operator said "summer has arrived early" and they were both astounded at the amount of crime that is happening all at once. The officer said they can't keep up. I do believe something is happening in this city. There are more people praying for this city and trying to change it than ever before and all of the sudden there is this seemingly consorted back-lash. I think your spiritual barometer is working very well Janet. Something is happening and my knee jerk reaction of grabbing the baseball bat is probably not the answer. I suppose a watchful eye and a lot of prayer are in order.
D, I think we have weapons and tools in our prayer and worship that we don't understand the power of. I think I have that baseball bat in arm's reach in the spiritual realm and don't know it most of the time. Fumble, fumble.
as i read your blog, i felt the same amount of sickness in the gut that any normal mom would feel. YUCK! but, how cool that your boy was able to stand up to a 12 year old, say no and then tell you. THAT is a very cool lesson to have learned. we tell and tell our kids the right things to do in certain situations and hope for the best. i'm sorry that happened to you and to him.
Janet:
Just reading this now. I too, am so proud of your son for telling you right way. As sick as the situation makes me feel (for both your family and that 12 (12!!!) year-old), I think it says something wonderful about your relationship with your child that he did come and talk with you about it.
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